28th June 2006,
5.48pm in the office. Have not been writting my blog for a month plus. Nothing much to share. Work is alright, but has been quite routine. Charmine has left, further her study- doing Master in Pharmacy in USM. She has been great colleague, I appreciate her so much, a nice person, pleasant attitude, and eager to learn and to work her best. Too bad she's attached, or else wanna introduce to Marcus:P
As for June, nothing really much. I felt as my life has been fleeting away. Has announced to my Cell that I'm officially released to go other CGs. Many had asked which cell that I planned to join? I have no idea, I really don't know which one. Have been taking long time to float around, and it's really not good, not healthy spiritually. I've been going out a lot with others- A2J, Zionist, those that I'm familiar with, but...I guess it's just not enough, there's just something lacking there. Well, I know I got to do something, not just let time pass and fly away, wasting every moments. Yet, I just don't wanna do anything, allowing the time to drag and passed and on and on. It's really a waste. I searching, wandering what I'm doing? What I'm actually doing right now? Have I been a good steward for Christ? No! I'm not. Have I been a good boss, a testimony to the rest, and point others to Jesus? No, I've not, Have I been a good daughter? No! I'm not.... Pastor's message past few weeks is really good- being son before being a Father. Learn to be sons and daughters FIRST. That's the first call. And the knocking is there, knock knock, my Heavenly Daddy is knocking at the door of my heart each day. It's just me, whether am I ready to let Him in?
Benji's daddy just passed away couple days ago. I'm so shock by the news, a day after Fathers' Day, and a day after we have dinner together. The funeral was solemn, I can feel his heart hurting, I can identify with his feeling, I really can, but I really don't know what to do. We can't do anything, but just pray and stand by him. Thats' all we can do. I miss daddy so much. Reflect back the time of his last breath. Seem so tough outside, but inside just broken, yet life goes on. Yeah, all things work for good for those who loves God, who has been called according to His plan and promises. Yet at this point, I still wonder...what is Your good plan for me? Yes, I know You are good, always good, but wht's next?
Esther smsed and emailed me last week, She want to include me in the intercessors list on the Sri Lanka trip. Oh Gosh...I told her, well..I can pray, but to intercede again? I'm jsut not sure. Anyway, yes...I've agreed to pray and uphold the whole team during their Sri Lanka trip. I guess the Lord is challenging me. Minister to Him before Man, and probably this is where I've lack. I wanna fall in love with Him again....But, ...oh Shirley, there's no "but"....just do it, fall in love with Him again, allow Him to touch you, to pamper you, to love you, receive that love- the love of the everlasting Father...even all may failed but His love Never fails, Never!
